


Power and Control

by ThatStarlightKid



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Former Dark Side Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Rating for language + and overall dark themes, Soft Boys, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The Dark Sides being cute, do you ever just write an entire fic to tell yourself everything is going to be ok? because same, familial dark sides - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23713747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatStarlightKid/pseuds/ThatStarlightKid
Summary: Virgil has gotten used to living with the light sides, in fact he quite likes it. But when one of Logan’s experiments goes very wrong, he remembers where home really is.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 302





	Power and Control

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Sympathetic Dark Sides, Moderate Language Throughout, Description of Blood, Loss of Control, Memory Loss, Imprisonment, Mentioned Animal Death (Please, please tell me if there’s anything I need to add). 
> 
> Started off as a vent fic, turned out as... the dark sides being a tight knit family? Writing this really helped me work out some of my internal angst and I hope this can at least entertain you while we get through this uncertain time.

Virgil woke up to blood dripping out of his mouth. In fact, it was everywhere; gurgling at the back of his throat, coating his tongue, crusting at the corners of his mouth as it flowed over his lips and merrily ran over the curves of his jaw. The fountain finally ended at his hands, congealing in his palms. As his gaze followed the trail of blood, he noticed with a start that one of his hands gripped a raw and ripped hunk of meat. It must have been the source of the blood but why he would have it and, even worse, why he would put it anywhere near is mouth simply made no sense. It fell from his fingers but he didn’t even notice the sickening squelch it made as it hit the floor. 

Virgil’s hands were shaking . He felt numb and cold and sick all at once. It felt like every cell in his body was trying to tear in a different direction. Except maybe his stomach. Those were working on condensing into diamond and then forcing their way up his throat, sharp corners scraping along the sides the whole way up.

He was on his knees and the cold gray concrete he sat on was eating through his jeans and gnawing on his skin. He bent forward, retching and coughing and suddenly very very aware of the thing around his neck. It was cold. Definitely metal. Definitely a collar. Leaning forward, it pressed against his throat and only increased the coughs that were shuddering violently from somewhere deep within Virgil’s body. He couldn’t help but scratch at it, slippery fingers useless against the smooth metal. 

“Hello there, little beast. We were wondering when you were going to wake up.” 

Virgil jerked his head up and was startled to find two other men in the room. Well, if you could call this a room; it was far more like a dungeon. It was a bleak box of concrete, entirely gray and without any source of light except for the open door at the opposite side from Virgil. On the wall behind him, a chain led from a ring and attached to the _thing_ around his neck. 

And in front of him... two men stood only feet away. Only feet away but still out of reach. The one who had spoken looked down with fascination at the huddled mess of Virgil. The other was berating him, growling at the taller one for calling Virgil a beast. If Virgil hadn’t already been coughing he might have choked out a laugh. An animal was exactly what he felt like. 

“Hey there, Virgil. You had us worried for a second,” The smaller of the two knelt down in front of him. His voice was soft and his gaze dripped with pity as his eyes ran over Virgil’s body. Half of his face was patterned by scales, like something off a snake. It should have been repulsive but somehow it was so familiar. 

He shuffled slightly closer to Virgil and slipped the gloves off of his hands. The man reached out with trembling fingers, shushing him quietly as if that would dissuade Virgil from bolting away. Luckily for the other, Virgil couldn’t have moved if he wanted to; between the chain and the convulsions shuddering through his body, he may as well have been sewn into the ground. 

Shaky hands ran through his hair and Virgil’s mind was snapped back into that direction. They felt so familiar- he knew those blunt fingernails, the way they scratched gently against his scalp, he even recognized the smooth spots where skin melted into scale. The fingers fluttered away from his face and unlatched the collar. 

Virgil raised himself up just enough to collapse into the man’s waiting arms. He nearly felt bad for spitting blood onto the other’s shoulder, “I know you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, you know me. I’m Ethan. Sometimes I go by Deceit? We lived together for years,” His voice wasn’t upset or even worried, just tired. Exhausted as if this was far from the first time this exact conversation had played out. 

Oh, right. Ethan. His best friend. They had grown up together. They had watched each other change and evolve as Thomas had done the same. Virgil knew every single angle of Ethan’s multi-facetted personality. So how the hell could he have forgotten him? 

Virgil glanced up at the other who had strolled over to Ethan’s side and was now mindlessly fiddling with the cape over Ethan’s shoulders. He was muttering under his breath and staring at the wall as if he could look right through it. Very much like- “Remus?” 

He jerked his head down and to the side to make eye contact with Virgil, “Hello!” 

“H-hi,” Virgil tore his eyes away; Remus’ expression was just a bit too delighted at the moment for him to handle. Ethan was still in front of him, checking over him like a concerned mother and grimacing at the red marks around his neck. Virgil decided to focus on him instead, “Ethan, what the fuck is going on? Why am I like this? Who put me here?” 

Ethan had moved on to studying Virgil’s hands but refused to look up at him, “We put you here.” 

Virgil jerked his hand away and shuffled as far back as he could without standing up, “Why the hell would you do that?” 

Ethan sighed and managed to look at Virgil this time. His eyes were far older than they should have been. Virgil got the feeling Ethan had explained this many, many times, “It’s for everyone’s safety- including yours.” 

“Ethan how the hell is chaining me up in the fucking basement for my safety? This looks like a fucking horror movie,” Virgil tried to scoot away further but his back hit the wall. Against the cold concrete, he could feel the sweat racing down his spine. 

Remus butted in, cackling, “Well you saw how you were acting- who knows what havoc you could wreck if we let you lose in Thomas’ mind!” 

Ethan turned on his heel to glare at Remus, “Which is something we are _not_ going to do.” 

“So, what, you’re just going to leave me locked up in here?” 

“No, of course not. Only, only when-“ Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood up and Virgil couldn’t help but flinch away from the movement, “Only when you’re _different_.” 

“Different,” The word felt bitter and heavy as it rolled off of Virgil’s tongue. Or maybe that was just the coppery coat of blood that still lurked in every nook of his mouth. He feared he would never be able to forget that taste. 

“Yeah, silly, different. When it’s night and you get just a bit-” Remus had swaggered across the room and squatted down next to Virgil with a bounce. He reached out, dragging one pointer finger along the lines of Virgil’s face and tapping him lightly on the nose as if to punctuate the word, “- _crazy_.” 

Virgil studied the face in front of him. Remus had poison apple green eyes that flickered like he had managed to trap lightening in them and a grin to rival the Cheshire Cat. Right now his eyes looked like a thunderstorm captured in a snow globe; he was either really excited or scared beyond belief. Virgil wasn’t sure which option was worse, “What do you mean crazy?” 

Ethan sat down next to Remus so they were all at the same level, “You lose control, turn kind of wild. It’s been happening every night of this week- don’t you remember?” 

“I don’t remember this week at all. Ethan, why the hell is this happening to me?” Virgil’s voice was shaking nearly as hard as his hands, still covered in the red grime. He knew exactly what it was but his mind simply refused to accept it. 

“I guess it started with Logan. He wanted to learn about what makes a ‘dark’ side different from a ‘light’ one— no bad intentions, I’m sure. You happily volunteered to participate in his research and I’m not sure what happened next. He gave you something and it fucked you up. It was supposed to bring out the traits that make you ‘dark.’ He was just curious about what made us different from _them_. Except, it didn’t just made you dark; it made you as bad as a side can be.” 

“And then they dumped you with us because they couldn’t handle you!” Remus grinned as if he were quite proud of his conclusion to Ethan’s explanation. 

Ethan winced, “Well I wouldn’t exactly put it so bluntly. They... tried to help you but they couldn’t manage it. They knew we would be more prepared for this sort of thing.” 

Virgil ran his tongue across the front of his teeth. He half expected to find a row of fangs or at least some pointed canines; something to match the snarl he felt building up in his gut and clawing its way to the back of his throat. He wanted to yell, to scream until his voice was too raw to sound anything like a human. He wanted punch his fist right through the concrete wall and he couldn’t tell if he wanted to damage the wall or just wanted to feel the pain in his hand, just as a reminder of what was real. How _dare_ they? _They_ turned him into this and when he was too much, they tossed him aside like a broken toy they had gotten bored off. _Them_. Virgil wanted to tear his teeth into the neck of one of those pretty little light sides. Wait, no. No. He didn’t want to do any of that. That wasn’t him. That was- _No no no no no no no no._

The word ricocheted through his head, one clear point through the murk of his thoughts. Except it burned, far too bright as it buzzed through his mind. His head pounded and the room was closing in and the faces in front of him were swimming. Virgil bunched his legs to his chest, hanging his head to his knees. He was trapped; trapped in this room, trapped in the situation, trapped in the dark slime that suffocated his mind. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” A hand smoothed across his back and lightly gripped one of his shoulders, “Don’t go there. We’re right here.” 

Virgil raised his head up, somewhat startled by the effort it took, almost as if there was a weight pressing down on his neck. Ethan rubbed his hand over Virgil’s back and reached out with the other. He wiped a tear off of Virgil’s cheekbone with the side of his thumb and smiled softly, “We’ll figure this out, Virge.” 

“Yeah, we always fix things eventually,” Remus ruffled his hair maybe a little rougher than necessary, but Virgil was used to it. 

He couldn’t help but grin a little bit and, as weak as it was, it felt good, “Yeah, we fix it after you fuck it up in the first place.” 

Remus winked, “And where would we possibly be without me being the only one brave enough to fuck shit up?” 

Ethan gave a small snort of a laugh, “Maybe you should hold off on causing chaos until we’ve got this sorted out.” 

“Ah, well, no promises but I’ll do my best,” Remus suddenly jumped to his feet, “Now come on, are we just going to sit here all day?!” 

“He’s right, you know, we shouldn’t stay here and you look like a mess,” Ethan gave Virgil’s shoulder one last squeeze, “Do you think you’re ready to get up?” 

Virgil looked down at his hands; they were still tremoring and the red was quickly drying to burgundy, “I’m not sure if I can stand but there’s no way in hell I want to stay here.” 

“Ah, no issue!” Remus leaned down just long enough to scoop Virgil into his arms princess-style and stood back up. 

Virgil should have been worried; this was a compromised position after all. But somehow, it felt so _so_ much safer than that floor. The floor was cold and rough and covered in a viscous mix of blood and Virgil’s sins. And Remus— well he was warm and safe and secure and smelled like a weird mixture of metal and saccharine flowers. Besides, Virgil’s head was already swimming, his body might as well joining it in floating away. 

He let his head fall against Remus’ shoulder and closed his eyes; every part of his body felt like lead, even his eyelids. It wasn’t until they reached the top of the stairs and the warm glow of light washed over Virgil’s face did he realize they had been moving at all. 

Remus swung Virgil’s legs down gently but kept one of his arms wrapped around Virgil’s waist, keeping him from keeling over on the spot. 

Ethan seemed to be taking advantage of the brighter light to look over Virgil again. He lifted Virgil’s chin gently, grimacing at the marks around his neck and the blood surrounding his mouth, “You really are a mess this time; do you think you could take a shower?” 

Virgil managed to huff out a laugh, “I think if it weren’t for Remus, I would be passed out on the floor right now. So, uh, no. Sorry.” 

“No, no, that’s ok. Remus and I will help you get cleaned up and then we can all hang out on the couch together and you can get some sleep. How does that sound?” 

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Virgil slouched against Remus’ shoulder and tried to keep his feet from sliding out beneath himself. 

“Hey, buddy?” Remus jostled him lightly.

“Huh?” 

“We’re walking now. One foot in front of the other, ok?” Remus held him a little closer and started half-dragging/half-supporting him down the hall while Ethan walked ahead. 

By the time they made it the bathroom that the dark sides shared, Remus was basically carrying him, one arm looped around Virgil’s body so he just kind of hung at Remus’ hip. 

Remus set him down on the counter and Virgil let himself slump back against the mirror. The glass was cold on his shoulders through his shirt but he hardly noticed, oddly fascinated by the spots on the ceiling above him. They looked like mold— probably a result of one of Remus’ experiments. Yeah ok... so his mind was definitely drifting away. 

Ethan brought him back to the present once again, handing him a cup of water and ordering him to drink it. Virgil felt like he was out of his body and watching the scene from several feet in the air; at least the picture was starting to come in a little clearer. 

“Hey, Virge?” 

Virgil leaned his head on the mirror at an angle he could face Ethan from, “Yeah?” 

“Can I take your hoodie off?” Ethan’s hands hesitated a few inches above his chest like he was afraid Virgil would bite him at any moment. 

Oh that was reassuring. _Oh yeah, Virgil, everything’s totally fine but I’m definitely worried you’re going to go absolutely fucking feral and eat me but don’t let it bother your pretty little head because it’s all sunshine and rainbows here._

Virgil was suddenly taken aback by the anger he was feeling. His fists were clenched and his lip was curling into a snarl and he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears. Maybe Ethan had a reason to treat him like a ticking bomb. 

“You,” Remus poked him, “Yeah, you. Snap out of it.” 

Virgil shook his head as if he could jumble all the pieces back into place, as if he could make everything normal again, “Right. I’m, gosh, Ethan I’m just really sorry.” 

“It’s ok,” Ethan’s voice was steady and soothing but his hands shook as he pulled the zipper of the Virgil’s sweatshirt down and helped him shrug it off his shoulders, “You just need to relax a bit; it’s fine.” 

“Ethan, no! It’s not fine! How can you say that? You fucking _chained_ me up in a basement I didn’t even know we had.” 

Ethan hung his head. Virgil couldn’t see his eyes but he could tell he was exhausted. Virgil had hated the optimism Ethan had been faking but the honesty of this change was sickening, “Look, Virgil, I have to think everything will be fine. I can’t give up— not on you. I’ve always believed in you and I always will. I have seen you go through so much and I’m not going to lose hope just because we have another obstacle to overcome. And if I’m being honest? I have no idea how we’re going to get through this one. I have no idea how much worse everything is going to get. But I can promise that we’ll keep taking care of you. And Logan will keep looking for a solution.” 

“And I‘ll help him!” 

Remus’ interruption managed to pull a small smile over Ethan’s face, “Yeah, Remus has been working with Logan while he works on a cure of sorts.” 

“I’m a lab rat!” 

Ethan reached up to muss Remus’ messy hair, “That you certainly are.” 

Virgil looked between the two men in front of him. This was his family. He loved the light sides but when things got terrifyingly real like this, these freaks were the only people he really trusted. This was his family and if there was anyone he wanted to lose his mind around, it was them.

“I love—“ Virgil’s voice broke, “I love you guys.” 

Remus leaned down and wrapped his arms around Virgil, squeezing hard enough to make Virgil worry about breaking a rib. 

“Ok, enough being sappy, we’ll have plenty of time for that later. Right now, Virgil is still covered in blood,” Ethan untied Remus from around Virgil and started scrubbing at his face with a cloth. 

“Hey, yeah, what is that about? I’m not bleeding... so whose blood is that? What the hell was I eating?” 

“Oh, that. It was venison— kind of,” Ethan explained casually as he continued attacking him with soap and water, “You were hungry but you didn’t eat any normal food and Remus found this dead deer in the Imagination and you seemed to like it so we just let you have it.” 

“You let me eat _roadkill_?!” 

Remus hopped up onto the counter next to him, “Well it wasn’t by a road so technically it’s not _road_ -kill. But, yes!” 

Ethan paused scrubbing a moment so he could fully take in the horrified expression Virgil was giving him, eventually just rolling his eyes, “What? I’m sure it won’t hurt you.” 

Virgil stuck his tongue out at Ethan, “You say that now but just watch— I’m gonna develop some rare disease or something.” 

“God you must be feeling better if you have enough energy to be this dramatic,” Ethan shook his head and started working on Virgil’s neck, definitely being a little rougher than necessary. 

After a few minutes of the continued bickering, Ethan had managed to get every speck of blood and sweat off of Virgil— and probably a layer of skin along with it too. Ethan and Remus even managed to get him to change into clean clothes before Virgil got bored off arguing over whether or not he was going to die because they let him eat the deer. 

“Bottom line, it’s just disgusting.” 

“I’ve eaten worse, and I’m just fine!” 

“That doesn’t matter! You’re, well, you’re you; you could eat steel shavings like cereal and it wouldn’t matter ‘cause your metabolism is built like a nuclear waste processing plant.” 

“Yeah, I have tried that! It was good!” 

“Alright you two,” Ethan interrupted Remus And Virgil’s squabbling and gently pushed them out the door, “I think Virgil could do with some rest.” 

Remus broke away from their little group and started bouncing down the hall like Tiger from the Winnie the Pooh cartoons. He pumped his fists in the air, screeching, “ _MOVIE TIME, MOVIE TIME, MOVIE TIME!_ ” 

Virgil and Ethan watched him with a mixture of horror and admiration. 

Ethan chuckled, “I have no clue where he gets all that energy.” 

“Maybe it’s the hearty bowl of steel shavings he starts the day off with.” 

“Heh, maybe,” Ethan laughed at Virgil’s joke but when he turned to face him directly, concern was written in every line on his face, “How are you feeling? Are you doing alright?” 

Virgil ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back as if clearing his bangs from his eyes could clear up his thoughts. _How did he feel?_ Well that was a damn good question. He felt like his brain was made of cotton candy and someone was pouring a cup of water over his head, drops slowly melting away the strings that held him together. He was tired. Above all else, he just wanted a fucking break. He didn’t want to think about how he was feeling or what the future might hold or the fact that he was going to turn into an animal that night, in a matter of mere hours. The idea made his skin crawl and contents of his stomach curdle. 

But Ethan was standing next to him, rubbing his hand across his shoulders and looking at him with the big yellow-green eyes that Virgil had known all his life. Maybe he wasn’t ok now. Maybe that was ok too. Maybe being safe was close enough to bring alright.

Virgil tried for a smile, “It’s gonna be ok.” 

Ethan grinned back, “You bet your ass it is.” 

**Author's Note:**

> All kudos and comments are so appreciated!!  
> Stay safe and healthy my friends.  
> Love you all 🖤✨


End file.
